By Design

At officer training this past Saturday, this question was posed: When the schedule for the week goes out, how do you get members to respond and confirm their roles?

Many Toastmasters I know hate being the Toastmaster of the Day because the scheduled members do not confirm or even respond to email messages. Come meeting time, many unconfirmed roles result in unprepared members, rapid agenda shuffles, and a stressed-out Toastmaster of the Day. I know some who have gone so far as to refuse to ever take the meeting organizational role again because the members are so lazy and discourteous that they do not want to deal with that frustration. "If only they would just respond and confirm!"

We all think this. If only the other cars on the road would get out of my way. If only the doctor would take me at the exact time of my appointment. If only my coworkers would answer the phone when I call. If only my significant other would recognize my mood. Life would be so much easier if only they would do what I expect of them!

It doesn't work that way, though, does it? Email is not reliable -- by design -- so messages can get lost. SMS text messaging is also -- by design -- unreliable. Even when a member confirms for a role, that member could later have a memory lapse, or something unexpected could come up at the last minute. Some Toastmasters hate to pick up the phone and make a call.

This is by no means unique to Toastmasters. At work, have you not had coworkers fail to attend or prepare for meetings? At home, have you had people fail to RSVP to events you were planning? Do your close friends ever forget to tell you about something important? In fact, if you think about it, people are not reliable -- by design. Life is not reliable -- by design!

Other people will not change to suit your desires. As long as you expect others to conform to your expectations, the problem is you!

When you are Toastmaster of the Day, take the onus upon yourself. If a member has not confirmed, call them! In fact, the evening before your meeting, make a voice phone call to everyone on the agenda whether or not they have already confirmed. Talk with them for a couple of minutes, remind them of their role, find out if they have any questions, and give them encouragement.

If you are one of those that hates making a phone call, have you every considered why? Is not a phone call just another mode of communication, and did you not join Toastmasters to improve your communication skills? Is your fear perhaps another form of stage fright?

There will always be last-minute shuffling at Toastmasters meetings. The same thing happens in the real world, too. The whole point of being Toastmaster of the Day is to learn how to deal with coordinating multiple people, to adjust to unexpected changes, and to develop skills to make a meeting run successfully despite the difficulties. You will not always succeed. In Toastmasters, you are supposed to fail! In your failures you learn what does not work, and in Toastmasters it is safe to fail. Your fellow Toastmasters will still applaud you, give you good feedback, and encourage you to try again. That is the whole point of Toastmasters.

The day will come that those organizational and motivational skills you developed will pay off handsomely. It could be for a small meeting at work, a grand social gathering, or an evening of games with friends.

If only you conform your expectations to others' realistic behavior, then your Toastmasters meeting will be a learning success. If only one person changes attitude, life will change to suit you -- by design.  That one person is you.